A Conversation with Rachel

Over the past two weeks, Rachel and I have been having conversations about friends, and what makes someone a real friend. Then yesterday, she shares this:

Rachel: Mama, this morning Kid X told me he hates all people in China. I thought Kid X was my friend.
Me: Did anyone else say that to you?
Rachel: No.
Me: So Friend A and Friend B didn’t say that?
Rachel: No. They like me. They like that I’m from China.
Me: They are your real friends. Real friends don’t care where you’re from or what you look like. Or what your family is like.
Rachel: They love me! My real friends love me.
Me: So, what did you do when Kid X said he hated all people in China?
Rachel: I got mad. I yelled at Kid X. Then I told on Kid X. Kid X had to eat lunch by the teachers AND say sorry to me. Kid X got in big trouble.
Me: Good for you, standing up for yourself! (give the girl a high five)

I love that girl. She is so tough, so strong. She’s been through so much, but she does have a core of self-worth and a realistic sense of right and wrong.

On the downside, this is just the beginning. She’s going to be picked on because she’s Chinese, because she’s adopted, because she’s a girl, because she’s smart, because she’s a jock, because …

Preparing her and her big sister to deal with all the outright-shit that will be thrown at them is one of the hardest things to do. It’s probably one of the most important things I have to do, too, besides loving the stuffing out of them.

I made a promise to the Chinese government to love these girls, educate them well, and raise them to be good, strong women. It’s a promise that I take seriously. Only time will tell if I have done it well.