Do We Have a Deal?

Memorandum

December 10, 2010

To:  My Family
From:  Fed-Up Carol Anne/Mama
Re:  Agreement

If I agree to work a full-time job plus a part-time job to keep a roof over our heads, bills paid, refrigerator stocked and some other fun stuff, plus do some laundry and cooking, can you agree to the following?

• Pick up the crap you leave lying around the house.
• Take out the dogs occasionally and clean up after them.  Thoroughly, and not by rubbing a piece of paper towel around with your foot.
• Fold and put away the laundry.
• Keep the sidewalks and driveway clean.
• Clean your rooms.
• Take out the trash daily .
• Not complain, roll your eyes, or make gestures when I point out that you haven’t followed through on what you said you would do “in a minute”.

If this arrangement is not suitable to you, I will have to make other arrangements.  Possibilities include, but are not limited to:

• Quitting all my jobs and stay home to clean up after you piggies, and letting you guys figure out how to pay the bills and keep a roof over our heads.  Oh, by the way Sarah, Social Security isn’t sufficient to pay all the bills.
• Take the money I save for fun stuff and putting it toward a weekly cleaning service.  I can’t keep up with your mess.
• Cutting down drastically on the number of clothes we have around here, so I have much less laundry to do each week.  I get tired of washing your entire closet every week because you’ve decided that if you put something on and take it off immediately, it’s dirty and needs to go on your bedroom floor.

Please let me know which approach you would like me to take.  Letting me know anytime between now and five minutes from now will be sufficient.  You know where to reach me.