In this post, I discussed how I became an Old Mom. Now I’m going to take the bull by the horns, explain some disadvantages of being an older mom, and what you can do to deal with it.
You’re Out of Touch
This one is frequently flung by teenagers in the middle of one of their hormone-induced huffs: “You just don’t understand EVERYONE who is ANYONE has
The most effective comeback I’ve found is this simple statement: “That’s exactly what I said to your grandmother at your age.” Stops ’em dead every time. After all, who wants to sound like their mother?
You Could Die Tomorrow
Yes, you could die tomorrow and leave your children without parents. And so could that 25 year old parent working hard to make ends meet or that mid-30’s professional with kids. We are all moral. If you have kids, you do the responsible thing, and try to provide for a future without you as best as you can: insurance, will, guardians named.Some of us are more mortal than others, some have mortality thrust upon them when they weren’t looking. Be prepared.
You’re No Spring Chicken
This goes along with You’ll Die Tomorrow, except it assumes you’re going to live.
A Trader Joe’s sticker on my bike helmet states I’m a Spring Chicken. Not so much, Trader Joe’s! Especially when I have those helpful checkout people at Target that ask my children, “Are you having fun shopping with Grandma?”
I’ve found the best approach is to let your kids answer. “That’s not Grandma, that’s my MOM!” is a great line to get those checkouts squirming, while you smile sweetly.
You could also spend money on hair color, facial cremes, and such. But it’s one of the great pleasures of older parenthood – knowing when your kids can do the dirty work for you. Let your grey hairs fly proudly.
So there are some strategies you can use to mitigate the older parent rap. In my next (and final) essay in this series, I’ll discuss the advantages. Trust me, the advantages rock!
Until next time.
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* My teammate Jonathan loves the word mitigate especially when combined to make the phrase mitigation strategies. This title is dedicated to him. For the rest of you, mitigation strategies is a fancy term for how to suck it up and deal.