The Speed Dating Job Interview

While eating my oatmeal at Caribou this afternoon, I overheard the strangest job interview. The interviewer was pushing questions at the applicant in record time. I don’t think there was more than a second pause between the applicant’s response and the interviewer’s next question.

The interviewer also reminded me of one of those speedtalkers — all the words rolling together into one breathless utterance. I actually felt sorry for the applicant. I have to wonder if the interviewer really heard what was said by the applicant.

I hope this isn’t the new standard for interviews in the service sector. A job interview shouldn’t feel like a stop at a speed dating table. There should be some listening and information exchanged. Not an elevator speech, then on to the next person.

What’s the rush? If the person you’re interviewing isn’t worthy of the 30 minutes you’ve scheduled with them, why did you even schedule the interview. A speed dating interview is a waste of everyone’s time.

On Being an Old Mom: How I Got This Way

Of course, I just got older. But there’s more to the story than that.

Two weeks before my 40th birthday, I was flying back to the U.S. after visiting my brother, SIL, and new nephew in Germany. As I flew over Greenland, I had an overwhelming urge to take a photo of the glaciers and mountains below me. I snapped off pictures through the window of the DC-10, thinking these photos would be of interest to some children.
It was October 20th, 1998. On the other side of the world, my oldest daughter was entering this world, landing in southern China. It would be another 11 months before I was told I was the mother of a baby in China. Another 10 weeks would pass after that before I would finally hold the child that made me a mom.
The People’s Republic of China, when they set up their international adoption program, decided adoptive parents should be older — at least 35 years old (later lowered to 30 years old). Job instability prevented us from starting a family right away. when things settled, it was infertility that ultimately kept us from being parents “the old fashioned way”. It took 11 years, but parenthood finally came, thanks to China’s preference for older parents.
Three plus years later, my youngest daughter was adopted into our family, and I was firmly ensconced in the world of older mommyhood. Because of China’s rule, I was part of a community of older parents. We could talk to each other about night terrors and bad knees, receiving lots of sympathy from our contemporaries.
It’s a good deal, being an older parent. While it was adoption that brought me to this place, there are others who get her via infertility treatments, marrying someone who has kids, or the infamous “oops” baby. It angers me when I hear of people trying to dissuade people from becoming parents because they’re not in their 20s or early 30s. There are some definite advantages and disadvantages, which I’ll write about in the next couple of posts. But it’s not a concept that you should run away from just because of age. You’re better than that.

2012 In Review

A rundown of the Wall Family adventures for 2012

Chicago

Carol Anne had a professional conference in May in Chicago, so the whole family took the train down and back. The NATO Summit was going on at the same time, so we got to see motorcades and protests and lots of police. It was fun. John and the girls came back after the conference started; Carol Anne came back four days later. It was good practice for our trip to China.

China

We spent two weeks on a homeland tour, visiting Beijing, Xi’an, Nanchang, Fengcheng, Guangzhou, and Maoming. There were five families on the tour that had adopted through Crossroads; better travel companions could not be found anywhere else on the planet.

We had a great time, in the heat and humidity in China, but we actually had better weather than MN – it was hotter and more humid there! The Fabulous Tu lead our tour until the families broke off to their provincial visits, then three families met up with her in Guangzhou for the last part of the trip. It was absolutely wonderful, and we’d like to go again before Sarah goes off to college.

Dogs

After we came back from China, Sydney’s health took a turn for the worse. Eventually we found she had pancreatic cancer that had metasticized. We sent her to the Rainbow Bridge in mid-September. Our local dog-loving friends and Carol Anne’s long-term Scottie friends from CyberScots were a big help.

Mid-December, Sarah and Carol Anne drove to Missouri to pick up a 10-week-old Scottie pup from a breeder Carol Anne knows from CyberScots. Adelaide is settling in quite well, although Laddie and Macalester still thinks she’s just a house guest.

Gymnatics

Sarah and Rachel’s teams both went to State tournaments for their levels. Sarah placed first in beam at state for her age bracket, and was in the top six for her other events along with two other Highland gymnasts. The team came in third. Rachel placed sixth on beam at state for her age bracket, and their team was seventh. Rachel’s team has a bunch of very talented 1st, 3rd, and 4th graders.

In the fall, four team members were bumped up from third team to first team (Sarah is on first team), including Rachel. So far, it’s been an interesting dynamic having both girls on the same team. Fortunately at meets they forget that they are each other’s mortal enemy, and become teammates.

Sarah is doing very complicated routines now and is hoping to qualify for individuals at state as well as competing as a team. She can’t wait to join the high school team next year, and dreams of earning a letter jacket. Something clicked for Rachel when she joined the first team, and she started to take things a little more seriously. She has done very well on the vault so far, and it getting some of her best scores ever.

I am still the Uniform Mom for the team, and I really enjoy watching the teams compete. We have a great group of parents — we’re nothing like those Dance Moms or Cheer Moms you hear about on TV. We leave the drama to the girls, where it belongs, and chat among ourselves and yell for all the kids during the meets. Just the way it should be done.

Stroke

– A prescription for a typical middle-aged female condition, triggered a blood clot and caused Carol Anne to have a stroke mid-February. She was completely off work for 2 1/2 weeks, then part-time for six months. The family had some great support from unexpected places — the moms and coaches of the gymnastics teams and from Rachel’s 4th grade teacher. They all went above and beyond. Unfortunately our pastor let us down and didn’t let our good church friends know about the stroke. They were very surprised to learn about the stroke after Carol Anne came back to church three months later. The lack of communication really broke Carol Anne’s trust with the leadership at our church, and it’s been very hard to participate with the life of the congregation since then.

Her recovery has been very good, no cognitive impairment, just some physical issues such as an inability to run and some leg pain. She recently relearned to jump, which the kids thought was hilarious.

Lawsuit

Because of Carol Anne’s ER visits which included being asked to pay for services not yet rendered, I became involved in a lawsuit the MN Atty. General filed against Accretive Health Services. It was an interesting experience which involved affidavits and depositions, meeting the other 60 co-plaintiffs, meeting Senator Franken for a Senate hearing on health care practices, and numerous visits and calls to the Attorney General’s office. A settlement was agreed on in July, and it all wrapped up by October. Carol Anne received a small settlement, which she used to pay-off some bills and buy the new puppy. She had fun giving the rest of it away to various organizations and schools she supports.

School

Sarah is finishing out her middle school experience this year, but is also taking a high school Chinese class. She reports that she occasionally unintentionally irritates friends by talking to them in Chinese. It’s really becoming a comfortable second language for her. She’s been on the A or B honor rolls this year – she struggles with some of her advanced Math course work, but keeps plugging away and making Carol Anne try to remember what she recalls of advanced algebra and geometry. She is planning to attend Highland Park Senior High next year.

Rachel is in 5th grade at Randolph Heights, and this will be her last year there. Middle school is the next stop. We’re planning to enroll her at Highland Park Middle School next year.

John continues to volunteer with book club at Randolph Heights. Right now he’s planning to continue on, even after we no longer have children there. He enjoys helping the younger kids with their reading.

Carol Anne had a leave of absence from Metro State this spring and summer, and was back full-force teaching Business Writing online this fall. She’ll be back to teaching her Technical Writing class online in January. Metro State was another organization that gave Carol Anne a lot of support during her stroke recovery. Since she’s a union member, even though she’s part-time, she had earned the right to sick time because of the union contract. With all the money going out to pay medical and therapy bills, it was nice to know I had income still coming in for the rest of the spring semester. That, and the kindness of her fellow instructors at Metro gave Carol Anne great peace of mind during a hard time.

Work

The big news here is that Sarah has joined the working world! Once she turned 14, her gymnastics coach asked her to become a coach for the beginners classes. She also has a dog-walking client. She’s earning about $35 a week between the two jobs, which isn’t bad for a 14-year-old. Carol Anne is looking forward to teaching Sarah how to do her own taxes starting in February.

John continues to work at Emerson UCC in Richfield, with the usual drama of a small church that is dying but in denial about it.

Carol Anne, continues at Metro State, but will take a new job at Securian on January 1st, as a database/reporting analyst. She’s excited to be working on a team of geeks that she has known and respected her whole 19 years at Securian. Now, she can make an off-the-cuff Star Trek reference and others will know what she is talking about. Although it looks like she may have to learn about The Lord of the Rings to keep up her end of the conversation, if her references to The Big Bang Theory (the TV show) fall flat. Ah, the trials of living in Nerdland!

Rachel remains gainfully unemployed, but we’d appreciate if she’d just get over of her fear of spiders already, and clean her room for a change.

That’s it from the Wall family. We’re hoping for a much less eventful 2013; boredom and complacency would be a welcome change.

We hope your 2013 is all you want it to be.