Because She’s Blonde … Yeah, Yeah, Yeah!

My friends and I have noticed an interesting syndrome that affects our daughters when they turn five — they start acting like ditzy blondes. Dumb blondes. You know all the stereotypes. They go all airhead.

Why? Heck if we know. It just happens. The blank look when you ask them to do something. The “I don’t know” response when you ask a simple question. Walking into closed doors. Screaming for Mama to find their purple striped sweater that they MUST wear to the birthday party this afternoon — forgetting they put it on when they got dressed this morning.

Our older daughters have passed out of the blonde stage, it’s been over two years now. However, the next wave has begun.

Rachel, ever the overachiever, has gone blonde a whole month before turning 5.

Case in point: In an effort to round up the dogs before leaving the house, I ask Rachel if she knows where Laddie is. She yells back, “I don’t know!”. Sarah, standing next to her yells, “Mama, Laddie is sitting right by Rachel.” I walk into the room, and there’s Rachel with Laddie at her feet, looking surprised and confused.

It’s going to be an interesting 13 months to come. But frankly, I prefer the blonde personality to cranky, crabby four year old personality.

Look out L, L, L, A, and L: your daughters are next!

Kate, Marilyn, and the Christmas Tree

Kate, Marilyn, and the Christmas Tree go shopping, because the Christmas Tree needs something nice to wear. So they go to the Behemoth Mall and head for Expensive National Chain. Kate and Marilyn turn out to be very helpful, getting new items to try on, telling the truth about the Christmas Tree’s potential adornment in a nice but forthright manner. After a purchase, they move on to two more Expensive National Chains, and strike gold.

The whole time, the Christmas Tree is very happy that Kate and Marilyn are along for the ride. Kate and Marilyn’s comments help deflect the Christmas Tree’s negative tapes about adornment. Plus, instead of being bored, Kate and Marilyn are having a good time. So is the Christmas Tree.

The Christmas Tree later thanks Kate and Marilyn for their help. Kate and Marilyn are astonished at the Christmas Tree’s gratitude. After all it was, to them, just another trip to Behemoth Mall. But, the Christmas tree is looking ahead, 15 to 20 years, and is thinking — this might be the start of a beautiful friendship.

And everyone lived happily ever after.

Creative Postage

I had an oversize letter to mail today — one of those square cards that take 52 cents.

Because I’m cheap, I like to use exact postage. Fortunately, I found a stash of stamps last week of various denominations.

So, I “created” this stamp collage to come up to 52 cents.

I hope the recipient finds this amusing.

Portraits

Someday, I’ll be able to take the time to perfect my photography skills. Maybe I’ll even have a simple set up to take portraits. In the meantime, the dining room will have to do.

It’s amazing what a couple of runs through high-pass sharpening, then shrinking the photo can do to a really blurry photo. Like this one of Laddie:

John wanted a photo for an upcoming recital. After I took this picture, he asked me, “Who is that old man? I always thought I was much younger looking.” I don’t suppose the shadows from the window lighting helped.
If I could just get rid of that reflection in his glasses… But nothing has worked yet. I need more practice. I also had to change the background to get rid of the door. That worked pretty well.

I didn’t do anything with this picture. It probably doesn’t need anything, either.
Sarah the Grouch was unavailable for a photo. Sydney was pouting because I took Laddie’s picture first, then decided to do a Greta Garbo imitation. Fine.

Alternative Christmas Carols and Marked Trees

The kids are in bed after watching “A Christmas Story” (our new catch-phrase is “you’ll shoot your eye out”).

I have a few more presents to wrap and a stocking or two to stuff. Then a quick household tidy-up and I’m off to bed.

John is off somewhere in the general vicinity of one of his church jobs. It’s too early for the 11pm service at one place. Maybe he’s getting a bite to eat somewhere.

After the Christmas pageant and service at church, the girls and I drove around a bit to look at the lights. That inspired this fractured Christmas Carol:

“Dashing down the street,
In Mama’s blue Cam-Ray
Over the speed bumps we go
Laughing all the way. Hahahaha!

Horns on cars do honk,
Ambulance sirens scream.
Oh what fun it is to drive and sing,
On St. Paul streets tonight.

Honking horns, honking horns,
Honking all the way
Oh what fun it is to drive
Down Summit Ave today. Hey!”

Yes, I know it doesn’t rhyme. But it’s what we came up with.

I’ve had to wash the tree skirt twice today. Sydney and Laddie are having a little disagreement over the (artificial) Christmas tree. While at 17 months, Laddie still hasn’t figured out how to hike his back leg. But he does know how to mark a Christmas tree skirt. At least he keeps far from the presents. Sydney lets me know with barks of disgust that Laddie has done it again. He’s back in his diaper — until the tree comes down.

That’s the Christmas eve dispatch. Enjoy your holiday!

Send in the Martyrs

Oh, don’t bother. They’re here. Or, I should say, they are me.

If I sound disjointed, it’s because I’ve been grading for four days. I’m starting to speak the way some of my students right. Help.

I am so tired. Tired of grading, the perma-chest cold, Christmas prep, sleeping sitting up, no snow, and dust. Endless clouds of dust. No, not at home. At work. The cube farm is being reorganized AGAIN. I make my move on Tuesday. A bunch moved on Friday. Good thing I loaded up on allergy pills and asthma meds.

Back to grading. Only 40 more 3 to 5 page papers to go…

Day 6 – Gotcha Day

A few years ago, I had this picture posted on the front page of APC-Pictures. I received emails from several people asking me to remove the picture, because the woman in the picture was scary looking. Especially her eyes.

Little did they know they were writing their complaint to the Scary Looking Woman. The problem with my eyes? They had tears in them.

This is a picture from our Gotcha Day. It was taken about 5 minutes after I was handed Sarah in the conference room at the Maoming SWI.

I had checked all her fingers and toes, her eyesight, her hearing. I made note of the tremendous ear tag by her left ear. She was perfect. I asked John to take a picture of us before Sarah started crying.

The result is this scary looking woman who can’t believe how lucky she is to have this little person on her lap after eleven years of trying to add a child to our family. I’m trying desperately not to cry because I don’t want Sarah to cry.

I wish I knew what Sarah was thinking at that moment. I wish I knew what she was thinking in the next 24 hours. Because she acted like she always belonged with us. Maybe she knew something we didn’t know.

Day 5 – Hurry Up and Wait

After three full days in Beijing, I was desperate for a latte. It wasn’t the coffee or caffeine that I wanted so much — it was the taste of milk. I had plenty of access to good strong coffee, beer, Coke, and was acquiring a passion for green tea. But milk was generally not to be found.

From pre-trip research, I knew one of the eight Starbucks in Beijing was located two blocks from our hotel — in the China World Hotel. So a few of us took a Sunday morning walk to Starbucks. Once we were there, it didn’t feel a lot different from the Starbucks back home in Highland Village!

After our adventure, it was back to the hotel to pack, and wait to go to the airport later in the afternoon. We would be flying to Zhanjiang, where we would meet up with the rest of our group.
After we finished packing, we watched the workers put up a huge Christmas tree outside of the hotel. Each day, the hotel had added more Christmas decorations. It was surprising to see.

It was a long bumpy flight to Zhanjiang, via Changsha. I was sure the plane was going to crash. But, we lived.

As we walked from the plane to the terminal, my sinuses suddenly popped open. Moisture! We were in the humid south — almost as far south as you could get on the mainland. It was December, but I could smell the flowers in the hotel garden.

Late in the evening, John and I had a cup of tea in our room, and looked out the window at the port of Zhanjiang in the distance and the South China Sea.

I didn’t sleep well that night. I was shivering. I don’t know if it was because of the cool and damp room, or because I was nervous about meeting Sarah the next day.

Day 4 in Beijing

This was a day to play.

Tu picked the assembled group up, and she took us to the Hong Quao market. I bought cloisonné Christmas ornaments, two sets of dark pearls, and other trinkets. John wanted to spend a lot of time in the (very smelly) fish market on the second floor. I was a horrible barterer. But as I did the math, I knew I was getting a tremendous deal anyway.

After the market, it was a crazy taxi ride to the location for a lunch of Beijing Duck. Turns out this is one of the most famous Beijing Duck restaurants in Beijing. Lots of pictures of dignitaries from the world over on the wall, including President Nixon.

John loved the duck. I loved the tofu!

Then we walked. I stumbled upon The Silk and Cotton Store, on what I would learn later was Wangfujing Street. I was in my element and in heaven. I looked, I bought, I had a great time! The silk was so inexpensive — $7 dollars a meter. The same silk would have cost me $40 dollars a yard in Minnesota. I didn’t bother to bargain — why look a gift horse in the mouth.

We walked and wandered back to the hotel. It was a perfect, sunny, warm (for December) day. Our bellies and hands were full. We were in China, just two days from meeting our daughters.

Later that evening, John and I found a wonderful restaurant on the 4th floor of our hotel that specialized in “snacks” — the Beijing version of Dim Sum. It was so good that we wished we had found it days before.

The food had been so wonderful in Beijing — I was certain that I had gained 10 lbs since arriving!